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When to Give and When to Ask: Mastering the Art of Reciprocity in Sales
Ever feel like you’re giving away all your best stuff and getting ghosted? Or maybe you’re asking for the sale too soon and getting the dreaded “let me think about it”? Today, we’re diving into the art of reciprocity—knowing when to give, when to ask, and how to make every interaction a win-win.
In Today’s Jam
Sales Tip Of The Week: Understand Buying Reasons
The Sales Lab: When to Give and When to Ask
Weekly Poll: How often do you give value before making an ask?
Sales Q&A: Ever sandbag your deals?
Get your calls returned
The Sales Lab🔬: When to Give and When to Ask
Here's the thing about reciprocity in sales: most people get it backwards. They either give away the farm for free, or they ask for everything upfront like a pushy used car salesman from the movies.
The truth?
There's a sweet spot.
A perfect moment when your prospect feels they owe you something, but before they start taking advantage of your generosity.
Let's break down the science behind this 👇
The Give-First Strategy (But Do It Smart)
Giving first works because of a psychological principle called reciprocity bias. When someone does something nice for us, we feel obligated to return the favor.
What NOT to Give:
Your entire solution for free
Hours of unpaid consulting
Detailed proposals without commitment
What TO Give:
Quick wins that showcase your expertise
Valuable insights they can't get elsewhere
Consultative understanding that offers deeper context to their challenges
Remember: Be genuinely helpful without expecting anything back.
Give first, give often, give without keeping score.
The Ask Phase: Making Strategic Withdrawals
But here's where most people mess up - they never make the ask. They keep giving and giving, hoping the prospect will magically volunteer to buy. That's not how it works.
When to Make the Ask:
After you've provided genuine value
When you've identified a real problem you can solve
After they've engaged with your content or advice
When they've shown interest or asked follow-up questions
How to Make the Ask: Don't apologize for it. You've earned the right to ask. Be direct but respectful.
✅ "Based on everything we've discussed, do you think it makes sense to work together to solve this problem?"
The Reciprocity Reset
Sometimes you need to reset the balance. If you've been asking too much, go back to giving. If you've been giving too much without asking, it's time to make a withdrawal.
The best sellers dance between giving and asking naturally. They read the room. They understand that reciprocity isn't about keeping perfect score - it's about building relationships where both sides win.
How often do you give value before making an ask? |
It’s Time For That Dream Sales Job…💼
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Game Changers of the week🔥
When To Walk Away
Top sales pros know when to walk away from bad deals—protect your time and pipeline by spotting the warning signs early.
Tip: Getting Your Call Returned
Learn a simple voicemail technique to dramatically boost your callback rate and finally get prospects to return your calls—watch the tip here.
10 Demo Mistakes That Are Killing Your Sales
Discover the top demo mistakes that tank deals—and how to avoid them for better results.
Sales Scene of the Week🎬
This ever happen to you?
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