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When to Give and When to Ask: Mastering the Art of Reciprocity in Sales

Ever feel like you’re giving away all your best stuff and getting ghosted? Or maybe you’re asking for the sale too soon and getting the dreaded “let me think about it”? Today, we’re diving into the art of reciprocity—knowing when to give, when to ask, and how to make every interaction a win-win.

In Today’s Jam

  • Sales Tip Of The Week: Understand Buying Reasons

  • The Sales Lab: When to Give and When to Ask

  • Weekly Poll: How often do you give value before making an ask?

  • Sales Q&A: Ever sandbag your deals?

  • Get your calls returned

The Sales Lab🔬: When to Give and When to Ask

Here's the thing about reciprocity in sales: most people get it backwards. They either give away the farm for free, or they ask for everything upfront like a pushy used car salesman from the movies.

The truth?

There's a sweet spot.

A perfect moment when your prospect feels they owe you something, but before they start taking advantage of your generosity.

Let's break down the science behind this 👇

The Give-First Strategy (But Do It Smart)

Giving first works because of a psychological principle called reciprocity bias. When someone does something nice for us, we feel obligated to return the favor.

What NOT to Give:

  • Your entire solution for free

  • Hours of unpaid consulting

  • Detailed proposals without commitment

What TO Give:

  • Quick wins that showcase your expertise

  • Valuable insights they can't get elsewhere

  • Consultative understanding that offers deeper context to their challenges

Remember: Be genuinely helpful without expecting anything back.

Give first, give often, give without keeping score.

The Ask Phase: Making Strategic Withdrawals

But here's where most people mess up - they never make the ask. They keep giving and giving, hoping the prospect will magically volunteer to buy. That's not how it works.

When to Make the Ask:

  • After you've provided genuine value

  • When you've identified a real problem you can solve

  • After they've engaged with your content or advice

  • When they've shown interest or asked follow-up questions

How to Make the Ask: Don't apologize for it. You've earned the right to ask. Be direct but respectful.

"Based on everything we've discussed, do you think it makes sense to work together to solve this problem?"

The Reciprocity Reset

Sometimes you need to reset the balance. If you've been asking too much, go back to giving. If you've been giving too much without asking, it's time to make a withdrawal.

The best sellers dance between giving and asking naturally. They read the room. They understand that reciprocity isn't about keeping perfect score - it's about building relationships where both sides win.

How often do you give value before making an ask?

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Sales Q&A

Are you sandbagging your sales?

It’s Time For That Dream Sales Job…💼

Looking for a new job opportunity in Sales? Search for the latest and greatest jobs here.

Looking to hire someone with great Sales experience? Post your job on The Sales Jam Job Board, here.

Game Changers of the week🔥

When To Walk Away

Top sales pros know when to walk away from bad deals—protect your time and pipeline by spotting the warning signs early.

Tip: Getting Your Call Returned

Learn a simple voicemail technique to dramatically boost your callback rate and finally get prospects to return your calls—watch the tip here.

10 Demo Mistakes That Are Killing Your Sales

Discover the top demo mistakes that tank deals—and how to avoid them for better results.

Sales Scene of the Week🎬

This ever happen to you?

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